inspired by tisha

so, i haven't even looked at this site for a while, but finally i think i have something to vent about.
i'm working on quitting smoking.
not sure how permanent it's going to be or exactly why i decided to stop now. i've cut down to three a day now, which is harder than i thought it would be. i really don't know what's keeping me from just saying "fuck it, i'll have one" right now except i promised myself i wouldn't -at least not until after midnight when it carries over to the next day so i'll only let myself have two during the day & one after midnight again. i'm very glad i didn't just go cold turkey, though. if i were home, it would have been easier 'cause everyone knows me & it wouldn't be as bad -though i'm sure my parents would've gotten pissed with me, but they've been through it themselves.

so i've got a plan.
all this week, 3 cigarettes a day while i'm living with my Uncle & am allowed to smoke in the basement & have rather little to do. so it's a little rough.
next week, it's down to 2 a day while my plans are iffy
after that, it'll be down to one a day until my packs run out.

I started smoking when I was sixteen: before my first kiss, after my last role in a play, however counter-intuitive that may seem. Three years. It sounds like a lot and nothing at the same time. I've never smoked a whole pack in a day and have only smoked more than half a pack in a day under more stressful times, you know, like finals or a busy day.

Wish me luck.