XVI

September 7
don't try ver hard
thus fail no miserable
but fail sorry & silly
soft strange hopes a
rush through door passion

how could not?
confident(ial) boost
perty made up face
tied-on slipping down
scarf skirt

roun here s'all minute hopes
some brilliant light
at ease day
one by one
fall in hand-holds
rather thn finger brush

ooh - ooh - subtext
guess still new huh
days crawling & gone

& never work too hard
got boy smiles
no tips on
what purpose attraction
w/o physical interaction, no?
tolling & worn down
come around one day
matter of slow time

XV

screw california

who's call did'i'd miss
feelin' on comin'
winter thrill
shoulders slack'd n tense

none'd i'd miss'd
sense th' loss n hollow
fri'ndship fall
head sunken shivers

bin daze no touch
bed months no care-es
g'sebumps nitemares
calc-late pattern

reach out n touch fate
loosin' gripes
drop fast far
'fore even catch

been not full
fore weaks n
gone broked up?
;take solid come-fort

hole up n
spring squeakless
savin' up steam
for dam when burst

:here be drug up
trenches n shallow
ms'd da date
'versary long used

makin' no-sense
'nt blamin' thim dreams
pills er dr.s
problems of own

tact 2
in call
en th'
mournin'

(Roman Numeral)

I have not had maximum brain function for a few days now. I don't know what to do with myself.
Got a head injury on Saturday night & I've been sleeping at inopportune times, missing classes & have not been able to sit through other classes. Formulating sentences is difficult. Reading is... I just fall asleep half way through all my homework.

I don't know what to do but lie around & do nothing.
The medication they gave me makes me groggy, distracted and vacant. Without the medication I'm weak, distracted and bitter.

Just can't win. Why the fuck did I run into a window frame?

XIII

another college-level poem

9-10-08
academia
& we sit
we listen & note take
learn in increments
to be a novice
in any given field

disengage the senses
a degree and a chemical
addiction
or two
vocabulary expands in the
short term

courses are whispers
attentive humor
internal dialog discussion
in the distance
echoes & shuffling hands
rotating chairs clicking pens
wandering eyes

calm unfound in high schools
pretension mounting & squashed
anxious ambitious silence
we sink in doubt & debt

XII

college refresher course

what's your name again?
sure, don't remember mine
still a background fixture
the follow conversation
back & forth around the room

No sleeping
food makes us ill
free liquor
free gym

cheap friends

making bets on
which ones will last
to expand collapse rebuild
& continue